My Apologies

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here today to offer you my sincerest apologies on a subject matter that you may find rather invasive. That’s right, my peers. I am owning up to it and offering you insight on a topic that is rather avoided.

I am sorry. I am sorry that I do not believe that love is for the weak.

Let it be known with clarity that I am only sorry of this because society has made me feel it is unacceptable to bear my emotions to the world, to my close friends, to my family, even to my significant other.

I am sorry I remain firm in the idea that keeping my heart as a decoration on my sleeves makes me a stronger person. I am sorry that I actively celebrate my sentiments in that communicating my fears, my irrationalities, my desires, wishes, hopes, dreams, cravings, dislikes and gratitude means I am strong: strong in self, strong willed, strong minded and strong in spirit.

I am sorry that I succumb to my vulnerabilities on a daily basis, because as an artist, I test the waves and tones of feelings, and some days I require a moment to shed a tear after venturing down Memory Lane, Nostalgia Drive, Inspiration Boulevard, or Compassion Road. I am sorry that you stand around the edges of my pool made entirely of weepy, salty tears and can not understand that this release for me is magic… and that this magic is going extinct.

I am sorry, in fact, that it is going extinct. I am sorry that we have all turned to sex, drugs, alcohol, addiction, abuse and food to mask what we are really feeling.

I am sorry that I give thanks and appreciation every day for my life, my belongings and my loved ones because you feel so uncomfortable by this foreign means of expression. I am sorry that I do not buy Hallmark cards and stick to the bland routine of only signing my name, leaving all signs of personalization nowhere to be found. I am sorry that my heart is big, and it seems to make you feel insecure about how much room there is left in the world for your own. I am sorry that you can not see that your heart will always have room in mine.

I am sorry that my sincere and generous offers, made only out of the intention of showing you that you are cared for, make you feel like you “owe” me something. I am sorry that you are finding it difficult to reciprocate my thanks.

I am sorry that I eagerly anticipate your voice, welcoming your ears with flowing conversation at any chance I can get. I am sorry that I appreciate your thoughts and opinions, and believe that you are a great contribution to my life. I’m sorry that I feel so open to share and grow and learn with you.

Well, you wanted an apology, didn’t you? I’m really, truly sorry that I don’t believe that love, or kindness, is for the weak.